My Penance

You spoke your voice

Yet you think I do not hear

So you scream

Flooding my eyes with tears

I am selfish, thinking only of me

All I ever did was love you

It would be selfish to want that in return?

So I never ask

You scream again

You Ungrateful Bitch!

As if those words have never been spoken before

It doesn’t make them hurt any less

You say you’re proud

Yet all you do is scream and yell

I try to walk away

I went away to get better for you and me

Or was it for me . . . yes me

I walked on the edge, one foot over

I was feeling so much better

Now I am one and ½ over

Now that would be selfish

But a relief, don’t you think?

I try to write, to pray

And not to think

About your hatred you feel for me

You finally revealed

My mental illness is too much for you to take

You suffer yourself

But you choose not to get help

Mine is much worse – she says

Your brain, your emotions, your physical pain

I can’t help you anymore

I walk away a gaping hole in my chest

Again she screams

 You Ungrateful Bitch!