Cry of the Wolves

As the days get colder, the night comes sooner

The sun disappears, the eyes grow somnolent

The leaves fall softly, the waves crash violently

The sky turns gray, the rain starts to fall

Little by little

Staring over a dark cliff, the seagulls dive

A tree thrashes forward, knocking her despondent

Ten miles of Forrest, no one to hear her screams

Darkness sets in, fog covering the moon

Below the waves crash uproariously against the darkness of the bluff

In the distance, the wolves cry out, there is no one to hear

No Path to release

Falling to a of bed of needles, bones thrusts though her

Blood running down her, shattering out in pain

The crying of the wolves closing around her; the aroma of blood drawing them near

As the shock from the cold night sets in, there is no refuge from the falling rain

The water soaks through her; still there is no one to call out to

Closer now; she can feel the pad of their feet, circling her

Alone " defeat

Hot muggy breath whispers, growls in her ear

Sand paper tongues savoring, her blood

Rain dropping, waves crashing, frozen, twisted

Yellow eyes stare, fur nuzzles against her broken body, warming her within

Soft whimper’s comfort her ears, as her body slowly recovers

Warmth

Her Eyes drift in shelter and ease, Tender, warm up and down her broken body

The indulgent whimpers of the pups as the elders let them take their turn

Black

Sharp piercing pain of a thousand teeth sinking into her

Dragging her into the darkness

Finishing, the screams silenced

In Death

© 2012 The Random Writings Of Me..Kates

Falling TearDrops

Falling stars of pain

Standing wretchedly, not in vain

Heartbreak assaulting the soul

Spreading like a virus

Through my veins   

Masking my eyes, veiled from behind

Truth never distant, forever blind

Nowhere to turn

Understanding vanished

One step forward

Two steps back

My eyes grow weary

Under a moonless sky

The last teardrops descent

No hope to stay awake

To believe is to see

A flower wilting within me

A summer that does not awaken

A winter that does not end

The gray clouds roll in

Rain falls deep

My eyes close forever

Forever asleep

© 2012 The Random Writings Of Me..Kates

The Honor of Thy Father

The sunset over the ocean

A tear drop down her cheek

A feeling of lose rolls through her

Deep down inside

Racing through her mind

Yesterday a dream?

One step forward

Out into the never ending blue

The crashing waves promising

Take the pain away

Another drop falls from her wet blue eyes

Her stomach churning

From the reality she denies

Another step forward

The cold touches her feet

Crashing up to her ankles

The numbness, forward she leaps

Aching within, shattering her soul

More tears drop into ocean

Ebb and flow  

Salt mixed with salt

The water skulking up her chest

Was it only yesterday?

It seems like a life time ago

The moon and the crest

The stoning of her beloved

Gone forever, lovers lost

A crime so insignificant, or so it seemed  

One that came at a cost

A life now two that was lost

Now or never

The taste of salt engulfing her mouth

The darkness of the sea shows no mercy

The moon takes over, an eerie glow

She is pulled and obstructed by the cloth covering her head

In and out she fades from the pain

The death is excruciating and slow

The images of her beloved, blood wounded and death

She would have it no other way

He suffered the same fate

They will look for her

They will find her bloated body

Her father will not cry

She has shamed him

To him she will also die

The only disappointment

He wasn’t able to do it himself

For the honor was his

And not hers to take

The Legend of The Blood Moon

Sitting on top of the hill looking down at the city below, she thought she knew everything; she was only twelve
years old. Her eyes glazed over, a joint in her hand; she knew nothing of the world she lived in. Upon the horizon they watched what she thought was a beautiful red moon rise over the city. Just two friends laughing; one of them telling the other The Legend of the Harvest Moon, the other not knowing the nightmare that was about to begin.

On that brisk October night, as the cold sets in around them, the girl listens as she is told about the lunar cycle of the Blood moon and its prediction of death when watching it rise above the city. As the two watched the moon slowly raise the color going from orange to crimson, her thoughts were foggy as she thought to herself about death and how welcome it would be to her tonight. Whatever reason there was something eerie about watching the moon as it cast its shadow over the city, but the girl shrugged it off.

As they started back, she began to wonder where she would go that night, not home. She was a disappointment to her family, drugs had become her life. She was only 12 years old. The consequences of her actions would not become apparent until later in her life. Her thoughts quickly changed to the laughter the two shared at how funny everything suddenly was, the cold no longer bothering either one of them, walking back and talking about life as they reached the arcade.

The evening faded into late night, alcohol and drugs run through her body thoughts of emptiness and sadness invaded her mind.

Flashes of the red moon rising -in and out, the welcome of death, will it be peaceful?

The Vodka flows freely; finding a bottle of aspirin

Washing them down, she knows it was too much, no going back.

The blaze of unconsciousness starting to take over.

Fading in and out of consciousness a song is playing in the background, "...do you have the time to listen to me whine, about nothing and everything all at once",

Her head hits the wall, is she saying no, that damn song, “Sometimes I give myself the creeps, sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, It all keeps adding up, I think I’m cracking up, Am I just paranoid, Am I just stoned?” in and out, the punch hits her everything goes black.


Is that light? There appears to be a light at the end of a tunnel. Voices, yes she hears voices, she cannot make them out, muffled, strained, and scared. Her pain is too great to open her eyes, they are so heavy. Dry, why is her mouth so dry? And her throat oh god, it hurts. This is a dream, there was light, a tunnel. There is supposed to be no pain after death. As the fog slowly lifts and the light slips through her eyes she can vaguely see people standing over her. She recognizes the crying of her father, her brother standing over her, where is her mother? This world where she is lying is so hazy, yes this is a dream. She is dead.


Slowing she comes out of the fog, bright luminous lights no longer a tunnel, but a frenzy of nurses and doctors, surrounding her and looking at her with concern, pity, she is not sure. To her side she realizes her father is crying, her brother glaring. There is a part inside of her that is heartbroken at her at her father’s crying, yet she keeps it buried . . . Her Brother just hates her.


As she processes the realization that her attempt was not successful, the questions from the nurses and doctors start. Are they accusations, questions, or concerns? She is still too fucked up to comprehend.

"Do you know that you almost died"?

“You were not breathing when you came in. We had to pump your stomach"

Oh - so that’s the shit in her hair, and the chalky dry sore mouth.

Anger sets in, Anger that she did not succeed, and who the fuck are they to judge? They have no idea of the pain inside her. The darkness, the battle of the souls.

The doctor is he sympathetic, concerned? Concerned that this girl's innocence has been taken from her. How does he tell her?

“Did you have sex?”

“No” - The girl answers, but she can't remember, why can't she open her eye?

The doctor tells her that there is evidence to support a sexual assault.

She feels. . .  Nothing? Looking away from the tears of her parents, the glare of her brother, she does not cry, she cannot process this information. She cannot remember. Her head is in a fog, yet pieces of that fucking song and her head being hit on the headboard and that punch. Did she say no? She will not feel, she will not cry, the vodka still stings her throat and can feel the aspirin go down one by one. What time is it?

Twelve year’s old, innocent, yet living a life to a path of destruction. She has a loving home, a daddy’s girl, parents who would do anything for her. But her heart is frozen to the outside world, damaged, trapped by depression and nowhere to turn but drugs.

The night of The Harvest Moon changed her life forever; for fourteen years she never dealt with the consequences of that night. Her brother standing over her whispering “you’re ruining our family, mom and dad”. her dad crying. The nightmares, continued throughout her life. The question always lingered in her mind . . . Did She Say Yes?

Her question would never be answered.

Nineteen years later, the pain she inflicted on her family always stays with her. The memory of that night will stay in the back of her mind forever, seeing a harvest moon, the song by Greenday, all trigger recollections of the skinhead nicknamed “Cueball” the boys who threw ME out of the car at the emergency room entrance lying to die on the concrete sidewalk.
And he is still walking free.

The Legend of the Blood Moon

© 2012 The Random Writings Of Me..Kates