Can you feel the shiver that shakes my body?
Your touch, so gentle
My hearts a flutter
You hold my hand, when I am weeping.
Pour me a glass of wine, and then you help me drink it.
You light my cigarette, and watch me smoke it.
I love the way I am
You love me the way I am
When you are cold, I'll make you warm,
If you are sick, I'll make you better.
I'll kiss your crying tears, I'll wipe them away.
Love me the way I am.
I love you the way you are.
Hold on tight, the ride is getting stronger
Call me baby, your voice is music.
I hear you calling, just wait a minute.
Because my mind is smiling at the thought
of
you
calling
me
You take me the way I am.
I love the way you see me, when I am feeling down.
You kiss my lips and run your hands through my hair,
You comfort me, you take me the way I am.
No longer scared, no longer sad.
No longer cold, cause you're holding my hand.
I love the way you say my name,
I love the way you hold me,
When I wake up next to you,
I love the way you kiss me.
You promise me nothing and give me the world.
You take me the way I am.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Faces and Places
*** This is what I came up with while riding the max, yes I am observant :) ***
The faces, all the faces, the smiles, the tears, the look of worry or love, so many people, so many faces that surround us everyday, do you pay attention?
Everyone has a story, everyone has a past. As you observe those around you, do you wonder what their story is? Where they came from, who they are, where they are going.
My mind wonders as I stare out the window, the man sitting across from me in a wheelchair holding hands with the one he loves. How did he get there, does he look sad? No. He is sharing a moment with a woman, gazing in her eyes, oblivious to everyone around him, whispering "I Love You". I smile.
A mother trying to control her children, wearing a purdah; smiling at everyone around her. The man next to me offers her a seat, she politely declines, and her children cling tightly to her long dress. Still she smiles.
As I listen to my music, not hearing the conversations around me, but picturing all those who surround me. I smile.
I watch two young kids kissing and holding each other. Oh to be young and in love, do they know this is only the beginning? Do they think about the end? Why should they, they are happy in this moment, this one moment.
As my journey continues on, I observe are two young people sitting beside me, one is looking out the window with a look so sad I almost want to reach out and hug him. His friend is trying to talk to him, he is listening to music, and he ignores her. Her hair is so many different colors; she has so many piercing and her clothes well, a little off beat for my taste. Immediately I judge. Who am I to judge? It was not so long ago that I myself had holes in my body. As I listen to her voice, I hear nothing but a gentle soft voice, not at all a reflection of her image. She tries to engage her sad friend in conversation; he continues to look out the window and ignore her, looking incredibly sad.
A boy across from me is talking on his cell phone about staying sober for 2 weeks; when he turns 18 he will no longer go to juvenile hall, but to actual jail. He is laughing. He is so young. Does he know the consequences of his actions may affect him later in life? No he does not, he thinks he is invincible. I too once thought that.
The woman sitting there knitting away, again oblivious to those around her and sitting next to her a man reading the bible, then two African American men step onto the train, one with and afro, the other with "bling" and a blue hat with multi colored ? marks all over it. They are sharing headphones to an MP3 player, practicing their beat, tonight they are performing. Determination masks their faces.
Oh the places you will go. The people you will see. Will you judge, or will you observe? Will you move away from a person who doesn't look quite right, will you sit next to someone who resembles a gentle kind person? You realize that everyday we make the choice to see people for their image, not who they are. We judge them on based their appearance or their action, but we don't know where they came from or where they are going.
The face only shows the surface, watching a man who is smiling, may be holding back tears, the woman who has a look of worry on her face may be going home to an abusive relationship, or maybe her child got a bad grade and she is not looking forward to a discussion with him or her. The teenager who just stepped on the bus to get to the airport and fly home to see family whom they ran away from a short while ago, thinking they could make it on their own.
The fact of the matter is we don't know. The gentle, kind looking person could be a rapist, or a ruthless person, the man who looks disheveled could be a hard working father who has a wife and kid at home. Oh the places we will go, the places we have been, the judgments we make, the choices we decide. Not everyone is as they appear, nor is something as it seems. The outside can be deceiving, the inside is most revealing. We don't often get to see the inside of the faces we see everyday. Don't be so quick to judge, you must remember you are being judged by all the faces that surround you.
- "He who is different from me does not impoverish me - he enriches me. Our unity is constituted in something higher than ourselves - in Man... For no man seeks to hear his own echo, or to find his reflection in the glass."
-Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The faces, all the faces, the smiles, the tears, the look of worry or love, so many people, so many faces that surround us everyday, do you pay attention?
Everyone has a story, everyone has a past. As you observe those around you, do you wonder what their story is? Where they came from, who they are, where they are going.
My mind wonders as I stare out the window, the man sitting across from me in a wheelchair holding hands with the one he loves. How did he get there, does he look sad? No. He is sharing a moment with a woman, gazing in her eyes, oblivious to everyone around him, whispering "I Love You". I smile.
A mother trying to control her children, wearing a purdah; smiling at everyone around her. The man next to me offers her a seat, she politely declines, and her children cling tightly to her long dress. Still she smiles.
As I listen to my music, not hearing the conversations around me, but picturing all those who surround me. I smile.
I watch two young kids kissing and holding each other. Oh to be young and in love, do they know this is only the beginning? Do they think about the end? Why should they, they are happy in this moment, this one moment.
As my journey continues on, I observe are two young people sitting beside me, one is looking out the window with a look so sad I almost want to reach out and hug him. His friend is trying to talk to him, he is listening to music, and he ignores her. Her hair is so many different colors; she has so many piercing and her clothes well, a little off beat for my taste. Immediately I judge. Who am I to judge? It was not so long ago that I myself had holes in my body. As I listen to her voice, I hear nothing but a gentle soft voice, not at all a reflection of her image. She tries to engage her sad friend in conversation; he continues to look out the window and ignore her, looking incredibly sad.
A boy across from me is talking on his cell phone about staying sober for 2 weeks; when he turns 18 he will no longer go to juvenile hall, but to actual jail. He is laughing. He is so young. Does he know the consequences of his actions may affect him later in life? No he does not, he thinks he is invincible. I too once thought that.
The woman sitting there knitting away, again oblivious to those around her and sitting next to her a man reading the bible, then two African American men step onto the train, one with and afro, the other with "bling" and a blue hat with multi colored ? marks all over it. They are sharing headphones to an MP3 player, practicing their beat, tonight they are performing. Determination masks their faces.
Oh the places you will go. The people you will see. Will you judge, or will you observe? Will you move away from a person who doesn't look quite right, will you sit next to someone who resembles a gentle kind person? You realize that everyday we make the choice to see people for their image, not who they are. We judge them on based their appearance or their action, but we don't know where they came from or where they are going.
The face only shows the surface, watching a man who is smiling, may be holding back tears, the woman who has a look of worry on her face may be going home to an abusive relationship, or maybe her child got a bad grade and she is not looking forward to a discussion with him or her. The teenager who just stepped on the bus to get to the airport and fly home to see family whom they ran away from a short while ago, thinking they could make it on their own.
The fact of the matter is we don't know. The gentle, kind looking person could be a rapist, or a ruthless person, the man who looks disheveled could be a hard working father who has a wife and kid at home. Oh the places we will go, the places we have been, the judgments we make, the choices we decide. Not everyone is as they appear, nor is something as it seems. The outside can be deceiving, the inside is most revealing. We don't often get to see the inside of the faces we see everyday. Don't be so quick to judge, you must remember you are being judged by all the faces that surround you.
- "He who is different from me does not impoverish me - he enriches me. Our unity is constituted in something higher than ourselves - in Man... For no man seeks to hear his own echo, or to find his reflection in the glass."
-Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Monday, November 26, 2007
Attention Important Notice to Drivers of the Northwest
I would like to post this notice to the drivers of the Northwest, Please read as there are some rules I would like followed.
1) If you are driving in the fast lane usually this consists of the left lane and you see a car come up on you, PLEASE get over! DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT slow down and piddle your way, YOU are holding up traffic!
2) If you are going to drive in the left lane aka fast lane, PLEASE OH PLEASE go the speed limit, yes this consists of going at least the speed limit if not a few miles over. There is a reason why there are signs that say SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT. Please people obey this rule; you are annoying those of us, who are trying to get somewhere. DO NOT GO 50 in a 60 speed zone, and if you chose to go slow, PLEASE move to the RIGHT, yes that would be the passenger side of your car in case you didn’t know.
3) There is ABSOLUTLEY NO REASON why you should slow down if someone is getting pulled over. Come on people, when someone gets pulled over it usually consists of the police officer getting out of his car, walking up to the offender and getting his license and registration, going back to his car, running the information and either he will give a ticket or not. I guess it would depend on how hot the girl/guy is (depending on the sex of the officer) or if the offender is pulling the crying act (I have used this technique and it works, I don’t advice you to try this). No matter what is happening it is NONE of YOUR BUSINESS and really is it that interesting? I think not, so People MOVE ALONG! You make me late and I missed my train. THANK YOU!
4) Please do not cut me off and then slow down, you are only encouraging my road rage. If there is a tiny spot, do NOT try to squeeze into it, and when you don’t put your blinker on, well it’s not my fault if I hit you! It is not that hard to put on your blinker and wait for someone to let you in, I have done this many times and YES people it works!!! Now if you are one of those who wait till the last minute to get over before your exit, well tough! Chances are I won’t let you in, please DO NOT give ME the finger, it is your fault for being a procrastinator, and I don’t feel sorry for you. Plan ahead. You know where your exit is. Hey I have to sit in traffic too, but like most people I try to be patient and again it’s annoying when someone butts in after you have been sitting there for 15 minutes.
5) Next and last, people it rains 9 MONTHS out of THE YEAR here! Why oh why can you not drive in it? I lived in Colorado all my life and it rains there too, not as much, but you would expect that us Coloradoans would be a little more cautious while driving in the rain, No not the case. We drive just fine in the rain, I was expecting the same here if not better, and I mean you guys are used to it! I have never in my life seen such dumb ass drivers when it rains, even when it sprinkles. I mean WTF???? I understand the ice, that is scary, but the rain, come on; it is no cause to go 20mph on the highway! RIDICULOUS, plain and simple. I hear people talk a lot about all the people moving here that don’t know how to drive HA! I have been to a few different places, and nobody drives like they do here! SLOW!
If I offend you I am sorry, but come on you know it’s true. Let’s pick up the pace, do not get distracted on things that really are not that interesting. Learn to drive in the rain, move over, go the speed limit for heaven’s sake. There are a few other things that bother me, but I will not go into it because then I may REALLY offend some, so we will leave it at that. If you have anything to add, by all means add away!
xoxo
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Mathematical Incompetence
Give me a word any word, I'll put it in a sentence, I'll give you a meaning, I'll write an entire story about one word…… Give me a book, any book, I'll read it and then summarize it for you, I'll even read it to you if you want.
But then, you……
Give me a number, any number…… O MY GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!! Numbers what? What are they? How do they work, what do I do with them? Where do I put them, I feel an anxiety attack coming on… Think; Think hard… what is 2 + 2? I DON"T KNOW!!!!!!!!
Yes these were my thoughts today at work. I was given a project, at first glance sure it was easy, and I can do this. Then I feel the sweat come on, I start to feel anxious, and then I realize… Damn I should have paid more attention when I was in school…. Algebra. I HATE ALGEBRA! Hell I HATE math, period, no questions asked. It is my worst subject, my worst fear…. I knew eventually it would catch up with me, I knew one day I would have to use it. Then I cried.
I know nothing about math, basic math sure, if I have a calculator. If I don't forget it, I even have an easy tip calculator on my phone so I can figure out tips…. I am so bad. I never even learned my times tables, I still count on my fingers for god's sake.
Today was my test, I was given a large project at work that involved figuring out formulas for expectations we haven't met and why, I had to figure out the time it took us to do the project right down to the minute, and why it took us that long and how it we could improve it, ALL WITH NUMBERS! There were no words; there was no getting around this one. I actually thought about quitting…. This was not in my job description! I do not remember reading anything about doing MATH!!!! What was I going to do? (Putting my head down on my desk in despair)
There you have it, my weakness, my downfall….. MATH! I am incompetent when it comes to this, and here I was looking at a spreadsheet full of numbers, looking for the outcome of more numbers, all blurring together, numbers, I want to cry…….
"Relax, just relax" I tell myself "I can do this". "Relate it to something you know, ANYTHING, you have to do this!" So I start talking it out, yes I was talking out loud, to myself, laugh if you must. My boss did, when he walked by my office and asked me if I was on the phone and then realizing I was talking gibberish about numbers. He laughed, I laughed, and it was funny….. Here I am at work, talking to myself about numbers, trying to relate it to something I know, you would laugh too. Come on you are laughing now….
I know you are…..
I had to teach myself algebra; or rather I had to remember algebra, I had to figure out these formulas and I had to do it today. After 3 long hours of banging my head on my desk, taking numerous walks to calm down and telling myself over and over again "I can do this, I can so this" I did! I talked my way through it and when I checked it with my manager (fearing I had it all wrong and I was going to be the laughing stock of the office) it was all correct… Did I just do math? I think I did, I nearly had a mental breakdown in the process, but I did it!
Now don't try to test me on anything because I still know nothing about math, I can not tell you what the square root of 20 is, or what 12x6 is, or what a + b = c is, I don't know division, I don't know fractions, and I still don't know my times tables. I don't want flash cards; I prefer counting on my fingers thanks! I am just happy I got through the mathematical roadblock I was given today…. I am still a complete math idiot, but I did it and that is what is important. I learned that even if you are mathematically challenged, if you are determined enough you can do it!
xoxo
Thank You
Thank you for being there when I needed you the most,
Thank you for leaving me when I pulled it all together.
Thank you for taking my heart, and holding it so gently,
Then ripping it to shreds….once again.
Thank you for making me believe that what I saw in you was real,
Thank you for taking it all away and leaving me in tears.
Thank you for being so understanding at the time,
Then holding it against me, and messing with my mind.
Thank you for all that you are and all that you have done,
You made me stronger, pushed me to be better, then left me far behind.
Thank you for making me feel so deeply for you,
Thank you for telling me, it's not the same for you.
Thank you ever so much for stringing me along,
Playing games, hurting me, then you don't even care.
Thank you for all of your time,
But I don't need you anymore.
You take me for granted, leave me to cry, to hurt, to you it's just a game.
Thank you for making me realize that you were a complete waste of time, Thank you for waking me up, this time I will leave you behind.
No need to say how you really feel, I know, you said, I don't need to hear it again.
Thank you once again asshole.
Kates
Thank you for leaving me when I pulled it all together.
Thank you for taking my heart, and holding it so gently,
Then ripping it to shreds….once again.
Thank you for making me believe that what I saw in you was real,
Thank you for taking it all away and leaving me in tears.
Thank you for being so understanding at the time,
Then holding it against me, and messing with my mind.
Thank you for all that you are and all that you have done,
You made me stronger, pushed me to be better, then left me far behind.
Thank you for making me feel so deeply for you,
Thank you for telling me, it's not the same for you.
Thank you ever so much for stringing me along,
Playing games, hurting me, then you don't even care.
Thank you for all of your time,
But I don't need you anymore.
You take me for granted, leave me to cry, to hurt, to you it's just a game.
Thank you for making me realize that you were a complete waste of time, Thank you for waking me up, this time I will leave you behind.
No need to say how you really feel, I know, you said, I don't need to hear it again.
Thank you once again asshole.
Kates
Saturday, November 17, 2007
One Left Behind
Sometimes we hurt, many times we cry. Life can be good; life can crush your heart so hard that it makes you want to scream. Somehow, someway we will get through it. After many nights of laying awake and wondering what went wrong, one day you will wake up and realize, it just wasn’t meant to be. You will cry, sometimes so hard your head will hurt, your throat will swell and you’ll understand the pain of a heart ache. Some say it is better to love than to never have loved at all. I think this is true. You love, you hate, your heart screams so loud, you can’t sleep. All the time you put into someone, only to have them tell you they don’t love you back. If it’s been this long maybe they never will. Then it’s time to let go.
The pills help ease the pain, the loss of feeling can make you numb. Numb to the pain in your heart. There is no simple answer; there is no simple thought, just memories and pain. All wrapped into one. You loose your train of thought, you lose your concentration. Then one day you wake up and realize, it is for the best. Getting to that is the hardest part, it can make you crazy, it can make you indescribable. But that is not the concern of the one who has hurt you, that is not the concern of the one who broke your heart.
Now there is no one to talk to, no one to turn to, just me; exactly as it should have been in the first place. Now it is time, time for myself time for my heart to heal. Because right now it is broken and he doesn’t care.
© 2007 The Random Writings Of Me... Kates
The pills help ease the pain, the loss of feeling can make you numb. Numb to the pain in your heart. There is no simple answer; there is no simple thought, just memories and pain. All wrapped into one. You loose your train of thought, you lose your concentration. Then one day you wake up and realize, it is for the best. Getting to that is the hardest part, it can make you crazy, it can make you indescribable. But that is not the concern of the one who has hurt you, that is not the concern of the one who broke your heart.
Now there is no one to talk to, no one to turn to, just me; exactly as it should have been in the first place. Now it is time, time for myself time for my heart to heal. Because right now it is broken and he doesn’t care.
© 2007 The Random Writings Of Me... Kates
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