So You Say

Can people who have dated really be just friends and then add in the factor of "friends with benefits?" Is it possible to set your romantic feelings aside or say lets see how things go for a while, I am not ready for anything in the short term, meaning six to nine months. Can you really do that?

So you say we are just friends, just friends and that I don’t want to start over with anyone else, I just want to be with you but I cannot date you right now. What the hell does that mean? Yes, it is true there can/was an altering emotional event that was compared to cheating or being hit (which by the way was neither), yes true one person had a complete emotional breakdown and the other decided they could not take it anymore. So where do you draw the line?

How can feelings just be gone, yes I understand the scarred part and even the part of you that does not want to deal with it anymore. However, how can you go to being just friends and then friends with benefits? If you truly do not have feelings for this person anymore, why would you want to continue the intimacy? Intimacy is a large part of a relationship and if it has been there for quite some time, you cannot go back to being just friends.

One person in the relationship is scared and doesn’t want to let go, I do not think either one of them wants to let go, so where is the line actually drawn? Can you draw a line here? There is no clear answer for this, is there?

So you say when things get rough, it’s time to throw in the towel and move on, yet you do not, you choose of your own being to stay and to not see other people. You choose to stay and be there, so you say.

Life changes people, it comes and it goes, one person touches you so deeply that it is hard to let go, you cannot forget the touch, the smell, the whole being of that person. The saddest part is that person is your best friend, and then it all changes. It changes to a point that your heart hurts, and your head screams, WHAT AM I DOING? You know exactly what you are doing and most likely will know the outcome, or maybe not.

Trying to be OK with a new situation is very hard, yet you know that you have a lot to make up for; this is your fault you know. If only, you can never say, if only. It happened, and it happened for a reason. We all know this to be true, EVERYTHING happens for a reason. No one knows what is going to happen 2 hours, 10days, or 6 months from now. However, what you do and what you say can shape what will happen in the future. If it is your actions that put you there, you need to take responsibility.

So you say this is how it’s going to be for a while, so you say this is all you can deal with, so you say I don’t want to date anyone else, so you say can you deal with this?

So what do I say?