Epiphany

Not everyday day in life is about something, in fact some day's I ponder the meaningless ways of the world. But some days, like today you have a vision, and new goal or a sudden insight into your life. Today has been one of those days!

For quite sometime I have been thinking about the meaning of my life and where is it going to take me, I have to question the position that I am in and, is this where I am supposed to be. I have been told that I am a strong person and the experiences in my life have made me that much better, but sometimes I wonder if this is true. I have to ask myself that being almost 26, why am I still not happy. Well some things that come to mind are, "yes I am in my 20's, this is a time of finding yourself", or I have made my bed, now I am the one that will have to lie in it. Considering my choices in life, I feel that I'm a little behind. Now I realize that's OK!

Not everyone finds their calling right away, for others it takes many years to find their true self. I am no different. Now by no means am I saying that I have found the key to my happiness, but I feel much better about my future. I have done some very hard soul searching (that I actually started a few months ago), and came to some revelations about my current situation.

1) I am not happy, which given is a pretty obvious statement,
But what am I going to do about it?
2) I am not someone who is going to settle for something that I don't want, even if it may sound good at the time.
How am I going to eliminate these situations?
3) I need to put me first and figure what I want before I can learn to love again.
This is something that I have a better grasp on
4) My education is the most important goal that I need to accomplish for me to be happy.
Knowing this what will give me my push?
5) Not everyone is perfect and no matter how bad I think it is, I can move forward and regain my happiness.
This is one I am still struggling very hard with.

Looking at this, I still have a long way to go, but now that I have written them down and can look at my life a little more objectively, I feel like a lot has been lifted from my shoulders.
I have a plan, I have something to look forward to, and learn from for the first time in a long time. So now that I know this what am I going to do about it? That is something I am going to have to take one day at a time.
Learning about myself again, and going after what makes me thrive is going to be a struggle. I have taken many steps backward. In a sense though I am starting anew, and this is what is going to give me my strength to move forward!