There was a time when all I needed was the music, the feeling of love, PLUR -Peace, Love, Unity and Respect.
The song that found me at my first RAVE
Everybody's free to feel good
Everybody's free
Brother and sister
Together we'll make it through
Some day a spirit will lift you and take you there
I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out
Whenever I can
Everybody's free to feel good
We are a family that should stand together as one
Helping each other instead of just wasting time
Now is the moment to reach out to someone
It's all up to you
When everyone's sharing their hope
Then love will win through
Everybody's free to feel good
Everybody's free to feel good
The song that struck my soul. Music for me at that time did something for me that nothing else did, it found apart of me that was lost. It found me apart in this world where I belonged for the first time. Even now when I listen to "techno" I still have that feeling, like I said it's a spiritual thing.
I met some of the best people during that time, made some of the best memories, and will never regret one single minute of it. Dancing till the sun came up, felling complete and utter excitement, being around people who loved you. Well maybe it was our Woodstock :)
House music, it is a spiritual thing, it moves you, and it's not just the thump, thump of the beat, it's the blow up and the mix of disco that feels the groove of the dance floor. I will never be able to explain unless you have lived it. Maybe not even then. Maybe you had to live it with us.
It's hard to believe that was ten years ago, some of us are gone. Robert Rest in Peace. Jose I will love you forever, and eve. Eric AKA Gizmo - Love you! Elmont, Montel, Ed, Serge you were my boyz! Then there were my BFF's Derek - You go Girl, you will ALWAYS have my heart! A-Derek, I will cut you bitch, Josh - you lovely thing, David Atencio - all the shit we went through and I love you like a brother.
Don't forget what we had, the bonds we formed and all the nights we DANCED!!!!!!
Brother and sister
Together we'll make it through
Some day a spirit will lift you and take you there
I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out
Whenever I can
xoxo
Monday, December 6, 2010
New Milestones, Never forget where you came from
I am graduating college next month, a mile stone it has taken me 10 years to accomplish. I should be excited, and I should be proud, but so much is drawing me to my past, and reminding me to not forget where I came from. I know the person I am now, and it is most definitely not the person I was ten years ago. Sometimes I wonder if that's a bad thing. Did I turn into the person that I wanted to become today? Or am I hiding behind my fears of the potential I know I have. I lost someone very close to me, recently and it has made me think a lot about who I have become. It has made me think about my dreams and goals and the things I have given up, and some of the ways I have become selfish. What would he think if he knew me now. I know what he thought, and that is one of the things that hurts the most. In some ways I have lost touch with the free spirited person that I was, the person who marched to their own beat. I have molded myself into expectations of what the norm should be, and that was never me.
In this next milestone in my life, my next chapter, I am going to live my life the way that I know I am supposed to live it, the way that I know how to be happy. I am not going to try to live to your standards, or your expectations. I am who I am. And it has taken a few good friends in the last few weeks to remind me of that. I am not some image for you to compare, or for you to judge, I am who I am. Take it or leave it. I have lived life in many ways, and in the last few years I have stopped living it.
I guess what I am trying to say is it is important to move forward, but to never forget where you came from, and never forget the people who have been there along the way. There are only so many people you can count as real friends. Hold on to those ones and never forget them, because you don't know when they will be gone.
XOXO
In this next milestone in my life, my next chapter, I am going to live my life the way that I know I am supposed to live it, the way that I know how to be happy. I am not going to try to live to your standards, or your expectations. I am who I am. And it has taken a few good friends in the last few weeks to remind me of that. I am not some image for you to compare, or for you to judge, I am who I am. Take it or leave it. I have lived life in many ways, and in the last few years I have stopped living it.
I guess what I am trying to say is it is important to move forward, but to never forget where you came from, and never forget the people who have been there along the way. There are only so many people you can count as real friends. Hold on to those ones and never forget them, because you don't know when they will be gone.
XOXO
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Elixir of Forever
An elixir of red, mixed with the pills of hardship
wasting away, laying and crying
running down your body, breathing slowing
falling asleep
An elixir - so strong
The smell of lavender surrounds and overcomes the room
Patience, Patience my friend, soon.
Close your eyes, sleep my darling, the pain is soon fading and you will wake no more
The tears dry, the breath slow, the eyes close
The elixir overcomes the body now and forever
wasting away, laying and crying
running down your body, breathing slowing
falling asleep
An elixir - so strong
The smell of lavender surrounds and overcomes the room
Patience, Patience my friend, soon.
Close your eyes, sleep my darling, the pain is soon fading and you will wake no more
The tears dry, the breath slow, the eyes close
The elixir overcomes the body now and forever
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
To Remember
To remember is like bringing back the pain,
To think is like living it all over again,
To breath is the gulp of blood that pools in your mouth,
To hurt is the only way to live, to survive.
To cause pain on yourself is the only way to cope,
Then it becomes addictive and you can't stop.
Remember the days of long ago, when all was well and life was simple.
Remember the laughter of all that was, all that is.... the innocence.
To drink away the pain that lays in your heart,
To cut away the anger that rages inside.
Do you remember?
To think is like living it all over again,
To breath is the gulp of blood that pools in your mouth,
To hurt is the only way to live, to survive.
To cause pain on yourself is the only way to cope,
Then it becomes addictive and you can't stop.
Remember the days of long ago, when all was well and life was simple.
Remember the laughter of all that was, all that is.... the innocence.
To drink away the pain that lays in your heart,
To cut away the anger that rages inside.
Do you remember?
Friday, March 13, 2009
When No One Was There
When no one was there, I went away and I never came back quite the same.
When no one was looking it was all I could do to keep from hurting myself, but you weren't there, you didn't even care.
When I was alone all I could do is cry, for nothing is the same, or ever will be again.
You kept on moving and left me alone, and I was alone, left in my own remorse too embarrassed and ashamed to even try.
When I picked myself up and finally was ready to face life again, you came back and kicked me right down again. Then I was there, by myself and crying.
How can I face my pain if you are always looking over my shoulder? You're not there, no one is there. You disappear when I need you most.
I am left alone, ready to cry, to breakdown to loose my own sense of self.
When no one was there, I left again, and this time there may not be a next time.
No one is there and I no longer care.
When no one was looking it was all I could do to keep from hurting myself, but you weren't there, you didn't even care.
When I was alone all I could do is cry, for nothing is the same, or ever will be again.
You kept on moving and left me alone, and I was alone, left in my own remorse too embarrassed and ashamed to even try.
When I picked myself up and finally was ready to face life again, you came back and kicked me right down again. Then I was there, by myself and crying.
How can I face my pain if you are always looking over my shoulder? You're not there, no one is there. You disappear when I need you most.
I am left alone, ready to cry, to breakdown to loose my own sense of self.
When no one was there, I left again, and this time there may not be a next time.
No one is there and I no longer care.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Shack
I am not sure how a lot of you feel about religion. I myself am a believer and have been for quite some time, but I won't go into my story. I will however tell you about the book I just read "The Shack". It was one of the most emotional, eye opening books I have ever read and it confirmed my faith even more. If you are going to read a book read this book, even if you are not a believer. It gives a perspective on religion that I myself have never experienced. The theme in the book is pretty complex, although you don't have to know the bible or God to relate to it, You just have to be human. The Shack dives into a lot of questions I have in life, and I am sure a lot of you have as well. It gives a spin on how things should be (this is not religiously speaking). I don't want to give away the book, I think you should read it right now, it took me only 5 hours! But to give you an understanding it's about a family who's daughter is abducted by a serial killer. The father deals with issues in relation to God and good vs evil and such. Then the book focuses on God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, it goes into a whole new prescriptive of what God thinks and feels about human kind.
I know this may not appeal to some of you, but if you do decide to read the book I guarantee you will not be disappointed. It is about religion, but in a way that is not common knowledge. So that's why I say even if you are a non believer this is a good book. It defiantly changed the way I look at things. You can go to http://www.theshackbook.com to find out a little bit more and then decide if you want to read it. I highly recommend it. And for those of you that know me well know I am a total book worm, and would never tell you to read a book I didn't think was worthy, let alone blog about it. In fact this is the first book I have blogged about, so it must be worthy. READ IT!
Again find it at http://www.theshackbook.com
xoxo
I know this may not appeal to some of you, but if you do decide to read the book I guarantee you will not be disappointed. It is about religion, but in a way that is not common knowledge. So that's why I say even if you are a non believer this is a good book. It defiantly changed the way I look at things. You can go to http://www.theshackbook.com to find out a little bit more and then decide if you want to read it. I highly recommend it. And for those of you that know me well know I am a total book worm, and would never tell you to read a book I didn't think was worthy, let alone blog about it. In fact this is the first book I have blogged about, so it must be worthy. READ IT!
Again find it at http://www.theshackbook.com
xoxo
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Success
Success is waking up
In the morning, whoever you are,
wherever you are,
However old or young,
and bounding out of bed because
there's something out there that
you love to do, that you believe in,
that your good at-
something that's bigger than you are,
and you can hardly wait to
get at it again today.
- Whit Hobbs
In the morning, whoever you are,
wherever you are,
However old or young,
and bounding out of bed because
there's something out there that
you love to do, that you believe in,
that your good at-
something that's bigger than you are,
and you can hardly wait to
get at it again today.
- Whit Hobbs
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)